he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
