when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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