I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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