Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
