What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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