My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
