She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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