I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
