There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
