Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
