his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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