yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
