Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was like eating out sand paper
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
