I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
