Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed

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(315): View more from New York

a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"

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(817): View more from Texas

Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.

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(208): View more from Idaho

WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!

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(352): View more from Florida

WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY

(1-352): View more from Florida

Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do

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(909): View more from California

Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys

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