I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
