On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
