i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
