Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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