Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Alive.
So much puke
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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