Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
