We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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