Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize