That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
