He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
drinking out of a sandbucket again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
