And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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