and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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