Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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