Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
