it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
we're so committed to being not committed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
