Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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