at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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