I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Holy sore nipples Batman
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
