...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
