thus making me awesome and them whores
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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