I am puke
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
