1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
