Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
that may or may not have been my penis.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
