Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
