Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
