If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
