whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
