Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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