I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
