We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
