i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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