would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
