Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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