if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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