I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize