Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
