We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
