Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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