Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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