his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
