Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
