so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
