Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
