Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All the doctor said was why
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
