I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
