Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
