Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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