Nicole vs. Life
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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