Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
