this just has baby written all over it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
3 2 1 whiskey
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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