I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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