We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
